A Year of Hope

Yesterday was my birthday! 28 years old. A decade years since I first legally bought a pint, about six weeks since I became an uncle, and a week since I committed to 101 days of creativity.

The morning after I set up my new Instagram account to document the journey, I came across a quote by Nelson Mandela:

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

That really struck a chord with me and I acknowledged that arguably most of my decisions over recent years have been driven by avoidance.

As a kid, I was being taught the opposite approach without realising it. A cycling charity came into school and taught us to slalom by aiming for the gaps, not worrying about the cones, because you naturally drift closer to what you're looking at. As it turns out, that cycling lesson is also a life lesson: focus on what you want, rather than what you don't.

In trying to avoid the bad in life, that's accidentally become a large part of what I've been looking for and therefore colliding into. Examples include (certainly not limited to) trying to avoid:

• challenging emotions instead of learning to listen to and regulate myself

• rejection instead of building connections based on authenticity

• conflict instead of developing a shared understanding

This Instagram post beautifully demonstrates the impact of reversing your approach

Part of the issue is that this perspective views success as the baseline you should be at, relating to it as a momentary relief from the pressure of feeling like you're not [doing] enough. That sort of a mental environment is more inclined to cultivate fear, rather than hope.

But flipping the script - running toward something, rather than away, as my Dad would say - helps to turn success into a wonderful recognition of your persistent attempts at growth and enjoying life. You don't ignore the cones of life either, you remain aware of them, but the gaps suddenly take priority.

Given our little cycling lesson, it's hardly a surprise that my day-to-day life is in many ways not how I'd like it to be. That's okay. The avoidant way of dealing with things is a very natural part of being human, escalated by past traumas and resulting anxieties.

The great thing now - and what I'm looking forward to as I begin this 29th rotation around the sun - is that I get to choose differently. I've had enough of this crap way of living and had enough positive examples as of late that I am motivated to take a more optimistic approach.

It's quite intimidating to change my perspective so substantially and I know that the ‘devil you know' part of me is going to be reluctant to be okay. But that night I opened my 101DaysOfCreativity account, I wrote about the tentativeness I felt.

“Some part of me [feels scared]. But also hopeful. He's peaking through his fingers. He wants to see where this goes.”

So here's to a year of decisions shaped primarily by hope 🍻 Let's see where this goes.